Hold Me Tight
by sugaroverload
Summary: Duo’s losing control over his ‘other self,’ the other ‘him,’ whom he calls by the name Shinigami. As Duo fights an inner battle to subdue his bloodthirsty side, Heero reaches his own conclusion. 1x2.


Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.

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Chapter 1: Insane, Duo. That's just insane.

Two days. Just two days and he was slowly going out of his mind with boredom. 

He was currently holed up in a lonely little cabin in the woods playing little red riding hood with the forest animals, just basically killing time before going off to see grandma Ozzie to exclaim "My, what big mobile suits you have!" and then Ozzie would go "The better to refute your insignificant rebellion with, my dear," to which he would gleefully reply "In your dreams, pal, 'coz it just so happens my Deathscythe's waaaay badder than all of your suits combined. Tough luck for you, eh?" Then he'd get out his thermal scythe and watch all of Oz sizzle and go boom…

Well, what else could he do in this place anyway? The cabin he was in had no electricity whatsoever. It was just a huge square room built out of logs, with a bed with sheets that looked like two giant pieces of tissue stapled together and there was not even single damned pillow. There was a table, made out of logs too, and a hearth that was situated directly opposite the bed. It was not that cold last night, so he didn't bother to chop any firewood. Hell, even if he wanted to, he couldn't because there was no axe anyway. If Wufei had been here, his katana would have been useful. But then, if he used Wufei's katana to chop wood, his braid would surely pay the price. No, he'd rather freeze like a popsicle, thank you.

This was all G's fault. That fishbowl head. Duo had been with the sweepers, when G suddenly went all mission on him. Now he was stuck here with nothing to do but stick his ass on the grassy ground and mope.

He can't help but admire the view though. L2 had been nothing like this. The air itself was a treat to inhale, tinged mildly with the scent of numerous forms of plantlife that thrived abundantly all around him. The sunlight was nothing like the artificial light that he had grown up on L2 and he loved the warmth that caressed his skin. There were also restless little critters that prowled innocently about. He didn't know all their names, but they all came as cute as a button- except maybe for that big brown bear that came sniffing on the window yesterday with its teeth bared. Except for that, yeah everything was cool here on earth.

But he was still bored.

There was a small town not far from where he was located but he couldn't actually go and spend a lot of time there. Too risky, and there was nothing worth doing there anyway.

G had told him to wait until one of the other pilots came. G said that he has to wait for the arrival of the other pilot and then, and only then, could he go ahead with his mission.

Duo frowned at that thought. Old scar face didn't really think that he needed someone to babysit him, did he? Did this mean that he still considered him incapable of taking care of himself after that little incident in his last mission? He was perfectly capable of executing that wrinkled ass's orders alone damn him. So he had a little lapse, big deal, every one gets a breakdown once in a while. It's not like he's not entitled to one himself.

One thing troubled him though. He couldn't exactly remember everything that had happened last time. It was all jumbled and hazy and blurry.

It was probably because he wasn't the one who carried out that mission.

It was probably because Shinigami had done it in his stead.

Just a lapse, really.

Duo sighed.

He had always known that inside himself, there dwelled another 'him.' He called this other side of himself Shinigami. Shinigami was the part of him who killed viciously and without remorse; he was the one who destroyed mercilessly and ruthlessly. So far, he had been able to manipulate his other self to his advantage, using him only when he felt that he could take no more and the mission was close to failure.

In his last mission, however, Shinigami had taken over him completely. How this had happened without him knowing it was still beyond him. The bloodbath that had resulted after his lapse in control had been appalling to say the least.

He had found all this out secondhand though. News feeds, on the air broadcasts, and from G himself who had received a report from the other pilot who had been with him at that time. That other pilot being Heero.

Oh God, not this again. Not thoughts of Heero again.

Oh look, a cloud shaped like an airplane! No wait, it's a grasshopper- no it's shifting hm…that looks like chocolate cake! Chocolate, yum. Heero's hair is the color of chocolate and I bet he's just as yummy too…

Aw, hell.

Heero.

Duo closed his eyes and shuddered.

He was there when he lapsed into his other side.

"He must think that I'd gone totally psycho- and he's right because I had."

Duo really liked Heero. He had long known that he preferred guys to gals and when he had first seen Heero, he fell hard and fast. Heero had been simply breathtaking to look at, even with all the blood and grime on his body. And what a truly drool worthy body. The sleek, toned muscles that rippled at every twist and turn have always managed to give Duo more than his daily required dosage of eye candy. Toss in the finely sculpted and slightly exotic features of his face and the fierceness of those glaring deep blue eyes and voila, you've got one hot Adonis in the flesh.

All the physical factors alone had been sufficient enough bait to draw Duo in, but no, Heero also had to have all the intangible attributes that truly placed him amongst the rank of the immortals.

Sadly, he had all the aloofness of one too.

Following that unfortunate accident with the pink princess, Duo tried to be friendly and accommodating to the guy to make up for shooting him and what does he do? Brush him off and scrap his Gundam for parts, that's what. That's gratitude for you, the Heero Yuy way.

Okay, so he had thought to do the same to Heero's gundam that time he fished the little birdie out of the depths of the sea, but dammit, he had not thought that the pilot was still alive and breathing and practically next to him. And he sure as hell would not, had their positions been reversed, try to steal parts from the person who had helped care for him and his suit. That would be, as Wufei would put it, simply dishonorable.

All the other times that they'd been together, rooming with each other in different schools had not helped calm his lib…liking for Heero. Heero still continued to brush him off, still continued to ignore him, still continued to call him an idiot, but he was still there. After all that, he still couldn't get enough. He still kept coming back for more.

A masochist, that's what Heero had turned him into.

But oh, but there were times when it had all been worth it.

There were times when he had glimpsed the real Heero and found him to be very much like the rest of them. Alive and caring and warm and kind and very, very much human. That Heero he liked too. Very much.

Heero obviously didn't like him though, but Duo was willing to take what he could get out of him. He wasn't going to force Heero into lo…liking him and if friendship was all that the other boy would be able to offer him, then he would take it with both hands and cherish it for the rest of his life. He would be miserable, yeah, but it would be all right as long as he had Heero's friendship.

But it seemed like he wouldn't even be able to hold on to that.

He stood up suddenly and said out loud.

"Okay, people, the trip into depression lane ends right here, now everybody dance!"

Duo jiggled his body, waving his hands freely up in the air, his braid swinging all around him, his wildly stomping feet driving all the earthworms in the ground into a burrowing frenzy to save their delicate, skinless bodies. He utterly lost himself to the rhythm of his dance that he didn't notice the figure that now stood a little ways off watching him in silent bemusement.

Duo turned around, waved his rear at his imaginary audience and with a final twist of limbs, posed and shouted "Oh yeah, that felt good!" With graceful flourish, he proceeded to bow first to the left and then to the right.

"Thank you, thank you, thank-erk!"

Wild chocolate locks drooped almost lovingly towards a smooth lightly tanned face and in those gorgeous deep blue eyes a glint of mischief clearly showed. His hands were crossed in front of his chest, and his body leaned slightly towards the trunk of a lucky tree, in a casual pose. Shafts of sunlight made their way gently towards the ground from the canopy of leaves overhead and cast a surreal glow all over the place where one Heero Yuy stood.

Picture perfect, that's what he was, and just looking at him made Duo breathless.

Flushed to the roots with embarrassment, yes, but breathless all the same.

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AN: I almost feel guilty for doing that to Duo but I just couldn't help myself. My apologies for any grammatical inconsistency in my writing, I have no excuse except for sleep deprivation, and stress, and life being a beach in general. Yeah, beach, you know as in really beachy. This is still rated K after all.


End file.
